She said her name was "party"
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Randomize
