Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
