3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
