broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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