Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
