Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize
