just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
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I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
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At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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