hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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