my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
false alarm, still single
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