you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
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