Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
