you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
