I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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