It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
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