Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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