Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Randomize