I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
