last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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