you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
