just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
