Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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