Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
