Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
