just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
