I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
