I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
