they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?