Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
