My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Dating After Heartbreak
operation have a gay friend backfired
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso