Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.