it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
