its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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