I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
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