i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
