guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize