my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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