Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
