k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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