grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Randomize
