repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
