This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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