Where did you get a picture of my penis
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
