Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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