how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize