Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
