Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
