went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Maybe he injected his testicle?
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
True strength comes from lack of pants
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