Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
