operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
ttyl tear gas
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
