What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
