oh god the rape fog is back!
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Dick very happy bro
Randomize
