how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
