I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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