yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
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