i jhust puked up my retainher.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
