I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
