you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
