How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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