Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
