I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
