k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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