oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize