i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
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