I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
