I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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