Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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