White coat. Heels.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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