Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize