Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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