I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
