wakey wakey hands off snakey
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
