Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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